The Pilot - "Plane" WHOOPS! Wrong Vehicle....

Grade: A+

  In the boy's backyard, we pan down from the tree the two are laying on. Wow, that tree is huge! How much fertilizer has Linda been putting on that thing?! Anyways, off the environment, Phineas begins the series with your basic exposition, asking Ferb what "incredible thing" they need to do, apparently expecting an answer from him. Oh yeah, he's gonna waste his one line answering your redundant question, Phinny. He responds with a shrug, as Phineas then decides to ask his platypus pet, Perry. Phineas, you drunk or something? Seriously, what the fudge do you think is gonna happen, he's gonna pull a Michigan Frog on ya?
  Anyways, Phineas decides to explain his current state of boredom, telling them he will not take it. Whew!  Fight the power! In more exposition, Phineas tells Ferb in one of the only references to school that once they get back, the teachers are going to ask what they did during their summer, and that they don't have anything to tell them. Okay, pause: What did they do before this episode that was boring? Greet people at Wall-Mart? "Welcome to Wall-Mart, where platypuses are the only mammals in our pet isle to lay eggs." Suddenly, Phineas gives himself an epiphany (Yowza!) that they will build a roller coaster. But not after a cutaway, in which the two are on the worst ride at the state fair.....no comment. Linda walks into the backyard, telling them that she'll be out at the store. What's that, the fifth time this week, Linda? Either your family's Italian or your secretly buying drugs. What is it, Crystal Meth? Dope? Your hitting the Grass, aren't you!? Tsk, Tsk.
  Linda, or shall we say Lindrug, tells the boy the usual "stay out of trouble," as Phineas agrees. Suckers. As Linda is walking away, Candace pops out of the house, asking if she told them she was in charge. Wow, love you, too, hon'. Candace is told that no one needs to be in charge. OH, PWN3D!! Still, Candace worms her way into being in charge "conditionally," which apparently is code for "Gossiping on the phone about boys as I yell at my brothers." Phineas brushes it off (what a surprise!) and lies that he's doing his homework, not totally designing a roller coaster. Well, apparently she's blind, so she falls for it. When walking into the living room, she picks up the phone and begins ranting on about who-knows-what for ten minutes with Stacy as the boys gather wild animals and wooden blocks for their coaster (what the...?)
  Stacy, apparently the only seeing character in the area, points out the "thing in their backyard" to Candace, who races out to see it, almost Harry Potter-like music rocketing as she sees the immense outline of a roller coaster in her backyard. She's all like, "ZOMG! Like, in stead of faint like a sane person, I'll just go tell my oblivious mother that my brother's defied all laws of nature and give her an anerism!" She darts off ranting, while Phineas asks for uneeded parts for the coaster. As Candace rids off on her bicycle, Isabella walks by, as Candace completely ignores her. Secretly, Isabella plots her subsequent humilation in 18 episodes....Mwa-ha-ha. No, she just "Whatevs" it and walks into the backyard with hearts in her eyes, lovingly talking to a busy-Phineas, who apparently goes all retard-o when Isabella is the subject, as he still doesn't know she loves him. Seriously, even Louis Stevens knew more in his show, and just listen to his every-other sentence!